A Good Day for Truth

“We are targeted by narcissists because we have everything that is beautiful and human. We can feel true joy and sadness. They want to live through us, and end up killing us. But we will rise, and we will be stronger and wiser...This is the life lesson.” – Dzana, Survivor from Stockholm. It is a terrible shame that there are so many narcissistic abusers out there waiting to destroy another's life. They try to be covert in insidious in their methods of controlling others, hiding their true self from the world instead, showing a charismatic person. Because of this, many times the narcissistic person is able to withstand being held accountable for their actions, in their sickness, they do not realize that they will be held accountable, I often wonder if they truly believe in an afterlife at all. These types of people have contempt for others because they want to show their power, strength, and false superiority over other people. I have se4en for myself how my aunt, uncle, and cousins, try to rewrite history, twist it in a way to only make them look the hero, the "good ones" the "smart ones" etc all the while putting everyone else down through their "fake" degrading pictures, their crude/crass jokes, their debasing nicknames for anyone who steps in their path, they did anything they could to smear others to bring themselves up. Nothing was out of bounds for these people, they made fun of appearances, smarts, skills, insecurities, someone was trying to acquire if someone was trying to make a change for the better they did their part to bring them down. These people have always hidden behind jokes that are in fact verbal abuse... I remember a time when a member of my family had a high religious achievement, and one of my cousins made a remark that was not only false but degrading. They did it to hide their own shortcomings, their jealousy, their envyings. Later their jealousy would become hatred towards those family members who don't sink to their level and know the truth about them. The biggest things these people try to go after character and reputation so that others don't believe that any type of harassment or bullying is going on. They will do what they can to blameshift and portray their spitefulness onto the other person to make that other person look like the "crazy" one. For example, my cousin doesn't believe that my family should be able to grieve over my other cousin's death. This cousin used this exact strategy, putting down/making fun/bullying all the while screaming that they are the victim. Then this cousin proceeded to make fun and project their traits onto those whom they wanted to be seen as "crazy." A clear case of a true narcissist, trying to project their failings and pathology onto those whom they target. It has been said that narcissistic people may have experienced a traumatic event in their childhood, this could be the case with my uncle who watched his dad beat a dog to death in front of him...However, research states that not all who suffer from a traumatic experience become narcissists. It is a conscious choice little by little instead of turning away from anger, envy etc, they embrace it until it becomes who they are. They lose the ability to empathize with others, they gain an insatiable desire for the need to be validated and to exterminate anyone they see as a threat to their carefully sugared house of cards. Research shows that not all narcissistically toxic people are successful, they do not always live up expectations they had set or to what they believe they should have achieved in this life. Even though these people are not leaders, they still put on an imposing pompous appearance to hide what they perceive as feelings of failure. Normal people experience failures in their life but because they are not built upon false personas, the normal person is able to live happily in spite of these challenges that come their way. For the normal person, making connections with others is important; for the narcissist, they feel and express revulsion and strong disapproval of any sign of affinity, rapport, or kindness. They perceive kindness, being nice, or showing any sign of love as a weakness. A toxic bully will choose to prey upon those who they believe portray these so-called "weakness." They would try to suck out the light and drag souls into their darkness. These family members do not realize that regardless of our perceived vulnerability, we will always show true strength for we experience empathy, we know charity, we have the ability to acquire and apply emotional knowledge, and because we are living according to our true self, we pose a threat to their flimsy egomania conceited selves. Narcissistic toxic family members try to convince those they put down that is something the normal person did as if it is the normal person's fault for being normal. Those who have wondered if "where there is smoke there is fire." The problem with that thought is where did the fire start, and who is adding gasoline to it? These people are not the victim even though they scream they are. My family has never gone out of our way to harm, threaten, slander any member of the family for the thrill or to continue to create contention. As normal people, we have tried to reconcile, we have apologized and asked for forgiveness to start paths of healing. Any attempt we have made has been brutally turned down, they willfully and knowingly make conscious choices and effort to keep this fantasy alive. "We will remain angry at you and your wicked family as long as..." Their claims are as outrageous as their attempts to "destroy" my family. They withhold forgiveness and cling to disillusioned, exaggerated wrongs, they smirk and fist bump when they have what they consider a "victory," which in fact is, only if they live to what they claim to believe, totally against what our church leaders preach and is only hurting themselves each time they lash out at those whom they target. While reading a book called "Becoming the Narcissist worst nightmare," by Shahida Arabi, I came to the realization that the situation my family is in is, in fact, Atypical of what narcissist do to nonnarcissistic people whom they target. My family has pleaded for compassion, for them to act kinder, to at least behave civilly. They choose to not take the feedback and apply it, instead my uncle continues to use passive-aggressive maliciousness. Trying to insert himself into any facet of my family's life as if he has some sick need to say "remember I am still here, don't forget about me." I wonder if my aunt and uncle have ever considered going on a mission for the religion we both believe in. Instead of expending time and energy on putting others down, they could be using that same energy to lift others and changing positively. I highly doubt they will, for I don't believe they will ever be able to own up to their actions, they would have to acknowledge that they have to let go of hatred, jealousy, envyings and many other toxic feelings they cling to. I believe they like to live in their darkness, they do not find joy in normal things, but rather in the things found in sewers and gutters. It is really a pathetic way to live, trying to always put others down to esteem themselves. How exhausting that must be. Any person who spends time making crude harsh jokes about squatting, smacking, hitting or anything in regards to putting another person down or trying to "destroy" another person, must have a toxic sickness. To spend that time putting another down shows true self, toxic and sick. No real man would ever put any woman down the way my uncle does. And since we cannot ask her and they are so adamant that their daughter was not excluded or shunned in any way, was she lying? Did she lie about her sister not speaking to her for months, did she lie about the things she said to us...maybe she did but maybe she didn't. We took her at her word. So he can continue in his feeble attempts to stop the truth from emerging, from trying to silence us from what we personally saw and heard, but the truth always comes out. This woman and her family are more powerful than anything they could ever imagine. Their daughter said it best "Love always wins" and love is what my family has.

A Good day to stay Dry

As the storm rages on my umbrella keeps me dry. Bullies are lower than any living creature on Earth. A bully generally is in league with beelzebub himself, which in my opinion is the case here. If a bully has nothing better to do than read my blog and make snide comments, then they are truly bullies indeed and need to go get counseling for their misguided life. I am reminded of the quote ”I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hatred so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”- James Baldwin. Maybe one day they will turn away from their hatred and deal with the pain... one can only hope... but who knows maybe they will continue to hold onto their hatred and continue to be in league with beelzebub because that is all they have left. It is pretty pathetic when a bully uses other peoples religion in order to try and bully someone.

A good day for Sunshine

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." I am stronger than I look and no amount of harassment will break me for I have learned to Dance in the Storm. Nothing will be done because nothing was done and again the bullies look like the fools that they are. If only they would follow their own advice. It is always interesting when a bully will say that a person standing up for themselves is somehow pointing a finger or counting a sin, don't be a bully in the first place. Just as bullies in the scriptures tried to squelch out the truth and goodness... well, we have all read how it turns out for those people. Funny how a bully will try to bully someone into silence and will try to only let one side of a story be told, a story by them that has narcissistic undertones, is biased and has a hateful agenda. I repeat what I have said before. It comes down to this: God knows the Truth of the Matter. God knows your heart and your intent; God knows what choices you made and continue to make; God knows the words you have written and the words you have said; God knows what you did and continue to do. And that is all there is to it. To add, God knows my heart, he knows my intent, he knows what actions I have done, he knows the choices I have made and continue to make and he knows the truth of the matter. I find peace and comfort that God knows. I will continue to have sunshine in my soul and in my life. For sunshine is light alone, it can’t become a cloud, the cloud which exists independently only blocks the light. Sunshine is in no way causing or at fault for the cloud. Though maybe the bully is upset with the happiness of others.

A Good Day for Subtle Hints

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU SHOULD NEVER ASSUME AND IT ISN"T ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IT IS! THIS POST IS REFERENCING MY EXPERIENCE IN DILLARDS! ONCE AGAIN WHALE (LYING) TALES NEED TO BE BROUGHT BACK DOWN TO SIZE! MORE PROOF THAT IT IS YOU ALL WHO ARE THE STALKERS NOT US! 

Sometimes someone will come along and try to bully you. Bully you into silence, bully you into fear of walking into a store because they might be there, bully you into not writing because they will make fun of you for it, bully you into any number of things. But the truth is a bully is nothing more than a lowlife insecure being who should be pitied. They make fun of others under the guise of "jokes" it just shows what lowlifes they are. It really is execrable, but they have been at it for so many years never taking the subtle and not so subtle hints of being outside the bounds of good society, religiously and otherwise. When they got looks of disapproval, outrage, and even being slapped, they just laughed because it brought out some kind of sick perverseness to the surface. They have been bullies for years but they never really had the funds to stand on two feet. Now that they have a small fortune, instead of doing good in the world, they continue in their perverseness trying to get revenge on the world, but since they cannot get revenge on those who they deemed actually hurt them, they content themselves on trying to destroy the lives of those who helped them through the years. My family has never had time for bullies because we have always been too busy living our own lives and trying to make the world a better place. Unfortunately, bullies have families too and can end up in one's family. Sometimes a bully ends up being so outlandish and loud because they have so much to hide and they turn on the very people who supported them, helped them, and wanted them to succeed in life. This is what has happened in my family. Everyone and I mean everyone in this life has done something they have regretted, made a mistake, or wished there was something they could have done differently. But a bully, a bully will hide their mistakes from others and paint another picture for "new friends", they push people away who know the truth, who was there to contradict this persona they are trying to exemplify to others. Now a person who isn't a bully, they don't hold these things for "ransom," but a bully does. That is what happened in my family with my aunt and uncle. The tell-all of a bully is the withholding of forgiveness. This is what my aunt and uncle have done. They are withholding forgiveness, which in a sense is really sad because forgiveness is as much for the person giving as it is for the person receiving. But a bully will use their authority to try and manipulate a person and make the truth skewed to their way. My uncle has actually admitted he is toxic "The way toxic people act is because of an internal struggle they bear inside of themselves but is taken out on those around them, or their target... in their minds, they will always find a way to justify the means." They claim that they are the lion (the one who is creating the toxicity and not the "victim" and yet everything they say contradicts this as they claim we are the "lions' creating all the toxicity...interesting how cracks form all around them in their delusional narcissistic "stories." Today I laugh because no matter how one tries to skew the truth, the truth is that there are two sides to every story. One side has been told by my aunt and uncle. This blog is the other side, my side of the story. My uncle and cousin can fist bump all they want and claim that a good day is when the bully gets away with crap. But I warn them of this. God and Angels are watching this unfold and Angels are silent notes taking. Stay up in the night and plot his revenge all he wants (oh...what an online warrior he is), but just as has been done in the past by saints and prophets, so to will my family to follow in their footsteps and live our lives. My uncle and aunt can no more put harm towards my Grandma, they may have ended up with Great Uncle Jim's money, but at what cost, they lost the most precious thing anyone in the world can have. They lost family by their choices. My family is stronger than both Jetta and Darren and we don't have the pressures that Wes and Jan were under when they were taken to court for erroneous charges. A reign of terror only lasts so long, and so does playing the victim, one day they will have played their cards one too many times and will have to face the consequences of their actions. Whether it is in this life or the next it does not matter, because it will come and that is no laughing matter. Truth always comes out.