A good day for remembrance

June is usually a happy time and up until my birthday it still is, but shortly after...I get reminded of my uncle Jim and my cousin Jetta, who both died in June of 2016. There was a lot of controversy surrounding the last 5 years of his life the way he was taken from his family and scooped off to some obscure location with family members who didn't nor wouldn't let anyone else see him. Jim was the last of the Mullins boys to leave this world. When he passed the boys became all together again. Though it was said by these people "..he is now together again with Vi. He brought light and kindness to our home. He loved Susan, the Grand Kids, Going to Church, his Dog Baby, and family dinner." He also Loved his stepchildren, his sisters-in-law including Grandma Lenore who also visited him in California, His grandchildren, his other nieces and nephews, and their children, who are still here and he loved my family. I have memories of visiting him and Vi, before she passed in 2006, in California and him after, I am grateful my mum remembered to document our trips down there, who knew they would end so abruptly. It has been two years now and Jim isn't only with Vi, he is also with Wes and Jan, his brothers, their wives, and another family. Maybe he was able to soften the hearts of the family that took him away and left them with the ability to show kindness as he did, he certainly had the ability to love others. I do look forward to the day when I can go up to him and give him a big hug! I also am reminded of my cousin Jetta who took her own life. She was a mother of two. Unfortunately, there has been and still is a family rift that probably will not be solved in this life. I hold fast to my belief in a loving God and merciful Savior; that they will be able to sort this out. I echo my sentiments that I had from a year ago."There isn't room for hatred in this life, it is too short to take for granted." One year ago, my cousin chose to take her own life. On her anniversary I have pulled out my favorite picture of her and her kids with my Grandma Lenore. I am so grateful for these memories with her. I remember her coming over to Grandma's and talking with us; my Grandma Lenore, my mum Liz, my sister Alisa and me. We didn't see eye to eye on everything but forgiveness and understanding were there in those talks, I know Jetta. Jetta forgave me as I did her. I wish Jetta would have known that she had a way out before those tragic events took place. My heart goes out to the family that is still grieving, I pray they will find peace ..Jetta didn't hate and unbeknownst to them she loved us and she loved Grandma Lenore and we loved her." In the time they have been gone, I have also lost my grandmother and since losing them I have learned; the world isn't always going to go the way I want it to, but I have to forge on and continue to live. The memories I have with you are forever ingrained upon my soul. They now know the truth of the matter.

A Good Day to Create Happiness

I have learned the only way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away. They continue to live in a delusional world surrounded by their enablers. They do not wish to resolve any conflict, their only desire is to keep the conflict alive. They continue to belittle, berate and make fun of those whom they target even after we have walked away. Because they cannot stop us from living our lives, from experiencing joy in the lives we lead. Their feeble attempts to silence my side of the story is very telling. They only want the world to see what they portray. An example of this was when several years ago when things were starting to get worse. My Grandma had lent out pictures to a cousin of mine, sadly these pictures were never returned and my Grandma was treated with contempt and outright rudeness by a cousin in law who screamed: "get out of here." All because my Grandma wanted back pictures that were hers in the first place. My cousin "borrowing" items of my Grandma's claiming items for school projects to never return them. My Grandma never saw those items again, they all were kept in the name of that family's "projects," probably sold. Interestingly enough, my cousin and cousin in law had to get married because he knocked her up when she was in high school, which wouldn't have been so bad, except how rude they have become in criticizing and making fun of others, in some deformed sense of pointing fingers away from themselves. They have lived in welfare housing most their lives, even though my cousin boosts of having a masters degree, these are things they try to point away from themselves. Another occasion when we had moved, my family was in possession of my Grandfather's WWII uniform, when it went into my cousin's vehicle, it was never seen again. There was also the time my Grandma caught a cousin trying to steal her husband's tools, or another cousin tried to steal a Norman Rockwell book, it ended up being the wrong book) that was taken. The kicker is when I was called to be the family history coordinator for in a religious setting and told me to take a course offered at the local institute of religion. I found out that my aunt was teaching this course. I voiced my concerns to my Bishop of the congregation, he told me "God works in mysterious ways." He also said it might start the healing process for our families especially if she and I had common ground in family history work. (Later on my Bishop would apologize for an "unfortunate decision on your aunt's part.") There might be much I could learn from her and her experiences. As I have done many times with many institute courses I have taken over the years, when I went to her class, I brought my recorder with me. I received a cold welcome that first course, glares, etc. The next week a cousin in law and my uncle showed up. They glared at me the entire time. The third week I was pulled out of the course and the smear campaign began. I had done nothing wrong except go into a class that my Bishop had recommended I went into. My aunt decided that she would rather cancel the course instead of start a healing process and let me be in her class. I continued to be the family History coordinator for another year.(My Bishop apologized to me for the "unfortunate decision my aunt made to cancel the course). This does not show a family who is willing to reconcile, but we should have known that when my uncle was acting like his convicted pedophile father, staring at my Grandma's chest in the lawyers office (he told my mum once that he does that because it flusters a woman and is intimidating to her) when my Grandma wanted to know what was happening to her brother-in-law. They falsely accused of keyed cars when we know that my cousin keyed my family's car, they scream harassment when my Grandma sent Birthday Cards and flip us off when we wish them a Happy Christmas when we randomly saw them. My aunt has lied about being beaten and held down when in fact she pushed my mother downstairs. If only my family had known the nefarious things that were in the works. We have been battling harassment and bullying of many types for many years. My family has come to the realization that some family feuds will not be corrected in this life. So we have moved on. Not really saying much about it, then one day I was told that my uncle told others that he would not stop until my family is destroyed, homeless, dead, or in prison. Seems like these people cannot let things go. They will use any manner of bullying possible including police and courts for their nefariousness. Just because one gets some money does not give one class that is the way it is with those toxically sick family. Instead of doing good in the world, they bully, and have taken random encounters turned it into court hearings, exaggerating the truth and telling outright lies. Because people do not believe how far these people go, we were counseled to just let it go and let it pass that was 3 years ago. Towards the end, they entrapped us, and I believe one of them vandalized my vehicle and created a situation that would lead to the next court hearing. They take any random encounter to create a false situation. I was right to leave, I imagine that many abused people are told in a rude manner (or to try and bait them one more time) "bye," or some other sadistic comment to keep the abuse alive. But it is done and over. Now, what people would want to have anything to do with anyone who tells lies about them? No one in my family, but they continue with their lies, What is their end goal? To the world they claim to want to be "left alone" and yet they continue in their snide remarks, in their passive aggressive comments, etc. I continue to pray for their hearts to soften, but it is up to them to make that choice. It is too bad they have expanded all that energy as negative, when they could have done so much good in the world. The delusional state of my uncle and his family is becoming more and more apparent as they contradict the very laws of nature...sunshine can never be dark. The only ones who have shame are them because of the way they plow through decisions, they have this "God" complex where, in their minds, everything they do is the right and only way. They have missed the mark. My family is happily living our life, we have moved on. There are so many good things happening in our lives, we are grateful and blessed (which not doubt my uncle will make some remark about because of jealousy). It has always been up to me to create my own happiness and to not let other people's toxic negativity bring me down (especially that as exemplified above). I will continue on my path, always focused on the positive that which makes me happy. I have forged a healthy path for myself, on that any of those people could ever understand. Sure I might be met with obstacles along the way; but it is always better to stay positive, be true to myself, and to lift/encourage those around me. I will always carry love and kindness where ever I go. I will continue to be a positive force for good for no beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart. I create my own happiness.