A Good Day to Deny Anger

Anger is not an expression of strength. It is an indication of one's inability to control one's thoughts words and emotions. Of course, it is easy to get angry. When the weakness of anger takes over the strength of reason leaves. Anger is not a Macho thing, Anger can lead to greater sins. Anger is yielding to Satan’s influence by surrendering our self-control. It is the thought-sin that leads to hostile feelings or behavior. It is the detonator of road rage on the freeway, flare-ups in the sports arena, and domestic violence in homes. No one can make us angry, anger is a choice. When you choose anger you are choosing Satan over God. I believe my aunt and uncle have chosen anger and I believe have become so toxic in their behavior that they do not know how to choose love. In an article titled "What's happening really Happening with Toxic People." Coach Kim explains, "Most of them (Those who are toxic) are committed to a story that casts you as the bad one, and they need to put you down constantly to distract their focus from their own fears of inadequacy and loss. Most hurtful people are hurt themselves and they focus on judging and criticizing you because dealing with their own issues would be too painful. They usually have a huge fear of not being good enough (or being inadequate, broken or messed up in some way)...They can be very attached to this story because their self-worth is literally dependent on it. They may even need to feed the story and make it bigger by adding new faults and flaws all the time. Adding to this story may even become their safe place and they may spend a great deal of time here, they do this to avoid the deep pain that comes with recognizing they might have issues and problems too. The more fear of failure they have, the more committed they may be in blaming you and making sure everyone knows you were/are the problem. We call this behavior the “Shame and Blame Game” instead of owning the mistake, they go off about the stupid people at work that messed their day up. When any shame experience hits them, they will subconsciously jump to the nearest plausible person to blame... We will also see a (Toxic) person who is quite judgmental of others and find them involved in gossip, criticism, and backbiting now and then. They do this because, again, it subconsciously and temporarily distracts them from their own fears of inadequacy..." She goes on to explain, "Really toxic people (I’m talking about those that are almost impossible to have a productive, respectful relationship with) are usually deeply afraid they aren’t good enough and are afraid of being mistreated or taken from. They may hide these fears behind a great deal of ego and act very arrogant, but underneath it, they are a very scared person." But That is still their choice on how they act. Lynn G. Robbins tells us, “Unchecked, anger can quickly trigger an explosion of cruel words and other forms of emotional abuse that can scar a tender heart” And so, We also have a choice in how we act towards the people who are toxic in our lives. Seeing their anger for what it is will help us in learning to curb our anger towards them. We are not judging them, we feel sorry for them and have learned that compassion is the answer to anger. Coach Kim goes on to say, "Seeing them (The toxic people) as scared, and not just offensive will help you to have more compassion and less anger around them. We consider these types of people toxic because their fears keep them focused, day and night, on getting, doing, saying or creating whatever they need to quiet those fears. In this state, they are very selfish and are mostly incapable of showing up for anyone else. They are so busy guarding, protecting and promoting themselves, they have nothing left to put into relating with the rest of us." An interesting thing about those who wish to see my family destroyed. They make fun of us when we post things we believe in and get angry when we call the kettle black. They post things about religion and good for them, now if only they lived what they posted. If they truly believed in a God who is loving and caring, and if they truly wanted to walk toward him, then they would give up their hatred. They would reconcile, they would stop putting others down, they would stop making fun of others. They would start living what they claimed, they would be loving and kind, they would actually care. They would actually have a gospel-centered home. But the fact is they are not loving, they do not actually care and they are so jealous that my family has, even though all of the trials we have gone through, continued to be safe. Why are we safe because we actually live what we believe, we live in a gospel-centered home. It is something that my Mum and Grandma have taught us, that we have somewhere to go when the storms of life become too much, that we have a safe place. One reason why we are and will always be okay, our rock is our Savior. We have not, nor will we ever stoop down to their level, taking the high road, keeping our anger in check. Remembering that though we cannot control how others will act towards us we do have the choice on how we will act towards them. President Thomas S. Monson wrote: "...If we so choose, we lose our temper and become angry with others. Ironically, those others are often members of our own families—the people we really love the most." He then relates a sad story of the effects anger can have. "An elderly man disclosed at the funeral of his brother, with whom he had shared, from early manhood, a small, one-room cabin near Canisteo, New York, that following a quarrel, they had divided the room in half with a chalk line, and neither had crossed the line or spoken a word to the other since that day—years before. Just think of the consequence of that anger. What a tragedy!" And that is why I will always try to reconcile. They try to push us away because that is what one does when they have something to hide when they have jealousy and malice in their hearts. They demand others treat them with respect, and they in return make fun of and belittle, they never show the respect they require of others. They find any way they can to harm and divide the family while they contradict their saying "leave us alone" They themselves can't leave alone. As exampled by them stalking this blog looking here at least once a day, combing through, trying to find something anything to throw shade because this is the type of people they are. We do not see eye to eye, and I believe that choices have consequences, I choose to let God be in charge of those and I will try to be kind to your family. Your misinterpretation of harassment is sorrowful, that you choose to remain angry is unfortunate. President Monson concludes, "May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say." Do not let the pitfall of anger take over, it will only lead to your own misery. How much joy you miss out on when you choose anger. I have heard it time and time again, Happy is the man/woman who will forgive and let go of their anger. "Take the challenge to rise and be a better version of yourself in spite of (or even through) this experience. This doesn’t mean you accept abuse from them, but it does mean you handle it with as much class, maturity and kindness as possible— while protecting yourself too. Do not let other people decide how happy, miserable, peaceful or upset you will be today. Consciously choose for yourself. Choose the emotions inside you in every moment because letting others dictate how you feel is letting them have power over you, which is what they want." It is a good day to Deny Anger and choose Happiness.