A good day for remembrance

June is usually a happy time and up until my birthday it still is, but shortly after...I get reminded of my uncle Jim and my cousin Jetta, who both died in June of 2016. There was a lot of controversy surrounding the last 5 years of his life the way he was taken from his family and scooped off to some obscure location with family members who didn't nor wouldn't let anyone else see him. Jim was the last of the Mullins boys to leave this world. When he passed the boys became all together again. Though it was said by these people "..he is now together again with Vi. He brought light and kindness to our home. He loved Susan, the Grand Kids, Going to Church, his Dog Baby, and family dinner." He also Loved his stepchildren, his sisters-in-law including Grandma Lenore who also visited him in California, His grandchildren, his other nieces and nephews, and their children, who are still here and he loved my family. I have memories of visiting him and Vi, before she passed in 2006, in California and him after, I am grateful my mum remembered to document our trips down there, who knew they would end so abruptly. It has been two years now and Jim isn't only with Vi, he is also with Wes and Jan, his brothers, their wives, and another family. Maybe he was able to soften the hearts of the family that took him away and left them with the ability to show kindness as he did, he certainly had the ability to love others. I do look forward to the day when I can go up to him and give him a big hug! I also am reminded of my cousin Jetta who took her own life. She was a mother of two. Unfortunately, there has been and still is a family rift that probably will not be solved in this life. I hold fast to my belief in a loving God and merciful Savior; that they will be able to sort this out. I echo my sentiments that I had from a year ago."There isn't room for hatred in this life, it is too short to take for granted." One year ago, my cousin chose to take her own life. On her anniversary I have pulled out my favorite picture of her and her kids with my Grandma Lenore. I am so grateful for these memories with her. I remember her coming over to Grandma's and talking with us; my Grandma Lenore, my mum Liz, my sister Alisa and me. We didn't see eye to eye on everything but forgiveness and understanding were there in those talks, I know Jetta. Jetta forgave me as I did her. I wish Jetta would have known that she had a way out before those tragic events took place. My heart goes out to the family that is still grieving, I pray they will find peace ..Jetta didn't hate and unbeknownst to them she loved us and she loved Grandma Lenore and we loved her." In the time they have been gone, I have also lost my grandmother and since losing them I have learned; the world isn't always going to go the way I want it to, but I have to forge on and continue to live. The memories I have with you are forever ingrained upon my soul. They now know the truth of the matter.

A Good Day to Create Happiness

I have learned the only way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away. They continue to live in a delusional world surrounded by their enablers. They do not wish to resolve any conflict, their only desire is to keep the conflict alive. They continue to belittle, berate and make fun of those whom they target even after we have walked away. Because they cannot stop us from living our lives, from experiencing joy in the lives we lead. Their feeble attempts to silence my side of the story is very telling. They only want the world to see what they portray. An example of this was when several years ago when things were starting to get worse. My Grandma had lent out pictures to a cousin of mine, sadly these pictures were never returned and my Grandma was treated with contempt and outright rudeness by a cousin in law who screamed: "get out of here." All because my Grandma wanted back pictures that were hers in the first place. My cousin "borrowing" items of my Grandma's claiming items for school projects to never return them. My Grandma never saw those items again, they all were kept in the name of that family's "projects," probably sold. Interestingly enough, my cousin and cousin in law had to get married because he knocked her up when she was in high school, which wouldn't have been so bad, except how rude they have become in criticizing and making fun of others, in some deformed sense of pointing fingers away from themselves. They have lived in welfare housing most their lives, even though my cousin boosts of having a masters degree, these are things they try to point away from themselves. Another occasion when we had moved, my family was in possession of my Grandfather's WWII uniform, when it went into my cousin's vehicle, it was never seen again. There was also the time my Grandma caught a cousin trying to steal her husband's tools, or another cousin tried to steal a Norman Rockwell book, it ended up being the wrong book) that was taken. The kicker is when I was called to be the family history coordinator for in a religious setting and told me to take a course offered at the local institute of religion. I found out that my aunt was teaching this course. I voiced my concerns to my Bishop of the congregation, he told me "God works in mysterious ways." He also said it might start the healing process for our families especially if she and I had common ground in family history work. (Later on my Bishop would apologize for an "unfortunate decision on your aunt's part.") There might be much I could learn from her and her experiences. As I have done many times with many institute courses I have taken over the years, when I went to her class, I brought my recorder with me. I received a cold welcome that first course, glares, etc. The next week a cousin in law and my uncle showed up. They glared at me the entire time. The third week I was pulled out of the course and the smear campaign began. I had done nothing wrong except go into a class that my Bishop had recommended I went into. My aunt decided that she would rather cancel the course instead of start a healing process and let me be in her class. I continued to be the family History coordinator for another year.(My Bishop apologized to me for the "unfortunate decision my aunt made to cancel the course). This does not show a family who is willing to reconcile, but we should have known that when my uncle was acting like his convicted pedophile father, staring at my Grandma's chest in the lawyers office (he told my mum once that he does that because it flusters a woman and is intimidating to her) when my Grandma wanted to know what was happening to her brother-in-law. They falsely accused of keyed cars when we know that my cousin keyed my family's car, they scream harassment when my Grandma sent Birthday Cards and flip us off when we wish them a Happy Christmas when we randomly saw them. My aunt has lied about being beaten and held down when in fact she pushed my mother downstairs. If only my family had known the nefarious things that were in the works. We have been battling harassment and bullying of many types for many years. My family has come to the realization that some family feuds will not be corrected in this life. So we have moved on. Not really saying much about it, then one day I was told that my uncle told others that he would not stop until my family is destroyed, homeless, dead, or in prison. Seems like these people cannot let things go. They will use any manner of bullying possible including police and courts for their nefariousness. Just because one gets some money does not give one class that is the way it is with those toxically sick family. Instead of doing good in the world, they bully, and have taken random encounters turned it into court hearings, exaggerating the truth and telling outright lies. Because people do not believe how far these people go, we were counseled to just let it go and let it pass that was 3 years ago. Towards the end, they entrapped us, and I believe one of them vandalized my vehicle and created a situation that would lead to the next court hearing. They take any random encounter to create a false situation. I was right to leave, I imagine that many abused people are told in a rude manner (or to try and bait them one more time) "bye," or some other sadistic comment to keep the abuse alive. But it is done and over. Now, what people would want to have anything to do with anyone who tells lies about them? No one in my family, but they continue with their lies, What is their end goal? To the world they claim to want to be "left alone" and yet they continue in their snide remarks, in their passive aggressive comments, etc. I continue to pray for their hearts to soften, but it is up to them to make that choice. It is too bad they have expanded all that energy as negative, when they could have done so much good in the world. The delusional state of my uncle and his family is becoming more and more apparent as they contradict the very laws of nature...sunshine can never be dark. The only ones who have shame are them because of the way they plow through decisions, they have this "God" complex where, in their minds, everything they do is the right and only way. They have missed the mark. My family is happily living our life, we have moved on. There are so many good things happening in our lives, we are grateful and blessed (which not doubt my uncle will make some remark about because of jealousy). It has always been up to me to create my own happiness and to not let other people's toxic negativity bring me down (especially that as exemplified above). I will continue on my path, always focused on the positive that which makes me happy. I have forged a healthy path for myself, on that any of those people could ever understand. Sure I might be met with obstacles along the way; but it is always better to stay positive, be true to myself, and to lift/encourage those around me. I will always carry love and kindness where ever I go. I will continue to be a positive force for good for no beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart. I create my own happiness.

A good day for a reminder to toxic family members

They cannot stay away because the truth is something that they must try and hide. They are so full of bitterness, they can only attack those who aren't. Those who know the truth know that the so-called good deed is only being done to placate their guilty conscious. They didn't ask, they just plowed ahead. But typical style it is very pathetic, they are pathetic.

A good day to let it out.

If wanting to make sure everything is ok, wanting to find out what was really going on, is considered stalking…his head is messed up and shows how full of hatred and bitterness their lives are. If wanting to honor the life of someone who I had a relationship with after they committed suicide is in their eye not allowed… their heads are messed up and they have psychological issues with nice people. If he believes that by saying only certain members of the family are forever…their head is messed up and they need to go back and learn about eternal families; no one gets to pick and choose. If they attack others, make fun of them, withhold forgiveness and then hide behind the being the “victim” … their head is messed up and they need to reread President Uchtdorf’s talk and apply it in their life. If all one can do is be negative and bitter while hiding behind their façade of “we are better and happier” trying to turn uplifting lives and positivity into a competition…their head is messed up and karma is a real thing. Interesting that these toxically sick people only see contact equalling conflict, only a deranged person would see the world in that way. A toxically chauvinistic sick person who does not have a normal view of the world could never understand how a woman could choose to hold on marriage and focus on a career and still have happy healthy relationships. In my family (unlike toxic families) I was taught to listen to a person, and listen to my cousin we did. We listened to the stories she told, we listened to the frustration she felt, we listened to the claims being banished, of abandonment and of being excluded from family events of other family members holding grudges and not speaking for months on end, we listened to what she had to say, we talked we laughed, we visited. I also listened when my cousin and uncle stated that I am an outsider and not part of the family... which coincides with what I had been told of how these toxic family members treated her. Toxic people also shun and that is what I saw happening. Non-toxic people do not exclude anyone from coming to a funeral, they welcome all who want to go, they let everyone mourn, not just who they "deem" in their delusional minds who should be there. In difficult times they come together, they reach out, they let bygones be bygones, but toxically sick people, exclude and try to bully and skew good service as being evil. They show a false face to the world, they show no mercy and bulldoze over others and then expect to receive kindness where they have only sowed hate. They believe everything is about them, and they will take true things and exaggerate them to the point of laughable outrageousness. They spread lies and hatred as if it were water. They hide behind false masks and mock good, they take good and say it is evil and take evil claiming it is good. The problem for toxically sick people is, we know they are jealous, we know and have seen how they envy others, we know that God knows the truth. A God they claim to believe in as well. I was once charged with "using the Jesus" card and unauthentic for keeping a positive attitude during trying times, and I will say what I have always said, I will take the Jesus card any day, there is no other card to use. It is possible to maintain a positive mindset even if we don't feel positive at the time and are going through a trying time. Toxic people because they do not understand how to be anything but fake cannot understand what "real" is, they misinterpret real happiness and real positivity for "unauthentic" or being fake. When one lives a life that they truly enjoy, happiness and positivity come naturally even during difficult times. The problem with toxic mentally ill people, they make fun of others, try to bring them down or outdo them; that is when their instability shows the greatest especially when they cannot be happy for someone who is genuinely happy and who has a healthy outlook on life even when going through tough times. Instead, they judge, criticize and make ignorant comments. It's pretty sad the delusions these toxic family members live under. But until they change their ways, soften their hearts, let go of the toxicity that has taken root in their lives they will continue to be miserable delusional toxic souls.

A Good Day let offense go

A lot of things have stood out to me recently in regards to those who are offended by the happiness in one's life. If true happiness comes from living a good life than that happiness cannot "darken" another's life. The thought came to me that if only one person is making the effort and the other person won't let go of an old grudge, a made-up grudge, or withholding forgiveness, or continuing to bring up false or misperceived communications, then any type of normal healthy relationship cannot exist. Narcissistic toxic people will only find a temporary sick pleasure in harming others, in creating chaos in another's life. An example of this happened a few years ago, after my cousin committed suicide, her family instead of finding forgiveness and healing, chose (and continue to choose) to hold onto their anger and hatred. My cousin Jetta, she, no matter what others may claim, the fact is, had developed a good relationship with my family. One would think that it was a good thing, that a family rift might be on the verge of starting to heal. Unfortunately, my cousin was in over her head and decided to make some bad choices which got her in trouble with the law. In contrary belief, I do not idolize her, put her on a pedestal, or claim she is a saint in manner. There are a thousand what-ifs, what if she would not have stolen $5,000 worth of stuff from her "friend," what if she would have moved away like she wanted to, what if she wouldn't have gotten into pornography, what if she would have not had to play "keeping up with the jones," and a myriad of other things. Her family may have loved her, I do not deny that, but for them to deny that my family didn't, in fact, have a relationship with her is hypocritical. I remember when I heard the news, contrary to the lies these people told about hippa laws being broken, my family was told by a cousin. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to go to the hospital and see her one more time, to say my goodbyes. The hospital staff, when asked said were very kind in stating that even though she might not hear us, it is very healing to come and say goodbye. Little did my family know at that time that family when asked, would deny our Grandma (I wish we would have taken her with us when we went to find out if it was really true) from seeing her Granddaughter one last time. Who does that? Who says, "oh you can go see her later..." on the phone and then totally reniggs? Only sick toxic people who only have hatred to hold onto. Any normal human being who is grieving over the loss of another, post pictures, memories, things that remind them of that person etc. But to toxic narcissistic peope, they want to control how someone is perceived and what is being said. They will also try and bring up old wounds in order to try and guilt someone from saying their piece, they will attack them any way they know how. An example of this was from my cousin who messaged me on facebook. She started out "Hey Krista, please remove all photos of Jessica from your facebook page. You do not have the right or even the slightest privelage at all to post pictures or say anything about her. Remember calling her a "slut" in public. You guys have absolutely unexplainable behavior. You have nothing to gain, no life insurance, no social security, no love from her or our family. Do not show up to ANYTHING our family is involved in. You will be escorted out." My response was " Dearest {}, My heart goes out to you. The power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the greatest things there is. I am so grateful Jetta and I are on good terms. We forgave one another how much I love her. Isn’t great being a part of the Gospel of Jesus Christ where Love and forgiveness are at the heart of it a wondrous thing? My time as a temple worker has taught me much.. Now I do have to address what you are saying: What use would I have for Jetta’s life insurance or her social security? Those should go to her darling {children}. May God Bless you and whatever anger or hurt you are feeling May God Bring you Peace. Love always, Krista" This person and I belong to the same religious sect, and I find solace in living my religion to the best of my ability. It is beyond baffling to me why any type of insurance would be brought up. But then I remembered my Great Uncle, these people actually did not understand why others wanted to see my Great Uncle, they believe that only they, not his personal family, should be entitled to his money. These sick toxic people have never nor will they ever understand that it was never about the money. It was almost comical that this person believes this to be the case. This person in these FB messages goes on to insult my Mum, my Dad, claiming lies she had been fed. After that, she again starts to personally attack me again, " Do not even pretend to be remotely a part of this family. You sure play the temple, doctrine like you are good." I believed at the time, that this person was acting out of anger and shock of knowing her sister hung herself and left this life by suicide and responded with that mindset. "You didn't know Jetta. She visited us and Grandma more than you know. As for us not being family We are sealed together forever by the Holy Priesthood. I feel so sorry for you. You have a lot of anger to get over." Unfortunately, this person must not have been in their right mind when they responded back, for what healthy, nontoxic person would respond in such a manner? " Hey bitch. You have zero right to say I didn't know my sister. Stop your garbage now. I will remain angry with you and your wicked family as long as you continue to stalk and harrass my family especially my parents. You are like cockroaches that crawl out of the shadows when you feel like it's an opportune moment. Jessica came around for Lenore, I promise it had nothing to do with you or mummy dearest. Let me spell this out because ya'll are so BPD (look it up), no one in my family like any of you freaks. You are not welcome at anything in which our family is involved. We'll all stand before the Lord someday and he will make the call on all this. Thank goodness he takes care of that. I'm done talking to you. Since you are so peaceful and zen, take that ultra spirituality and find some decency to leave us all alone. If you loved Jessica the way you say you do than respect her by leaving her family alone." The only thing that comes to mind, is how much I pity for this family. I cannot imagine what it must be like to live with that much hate. To take good intentions and twist it into something so hateful and claim false harassment, to take random encounters and become so disillusioned to turn them into stalking encounters. They are aware of the chaos they create around them, they consciously created drama (lying, name-calling, swearing, snide remarks, etc). The lesson I learned from this is these types of people who, have toxic mental illnesses running through there family, will do anything they can to cause offense and keep the contention going so that they do not have look truth in the eye. To say these things, they must have a toxic sickness, for how can they live a normal life when they (as stated) cling to anger. They believed, (and who knows maybe they still cling on that belief), my family only went to Jetta's funeral to torment them. It could have been a time for healing to start, but they cling to hatred. They do not understand. Instead, at the funeral, they saw spies everywhere and treated anyone whom they deemed to be one with contempt and outright rudeness... But those family members embroiled by so much hate could not understand (nor can they now) That funeral was more than just Jetta and honoring her life. For my family it was about an old woman, her Grandma, asking for pictures of the funeral so she might say goodbye on her terms. "Its realized that a death brings out emotions to the surface but it's not normal for this much anger and hatred to come up. Usually, love abounds... However, it seems that their family is enjoying bringing contention to the forefront, calling names when there is no basis...What proof do they have of the so-called tape, vandalism...and why a freak or wicked...these are figments of someone's imagination and disillusions. Because they do not exist in the way they say... Again we feel so sorry for them. They might think of getting some counseling for how shaken up they are." After having to endure these situations, I saw this quote and did some introspection, "Am I offended by them?" The answer came from the right-hand column, (I have given my offense to God) and to those who have taken offense and accused me of my using the "Jesus" card, I say, that's right, I will always use the Jesus card because he is my Savior and Salvation. I have given my life over to Him. My Door is always open to forgiveness and moving forward. Someday I will be able to say to their face that I forgive them as for now I am enjoying the Peace the Gospel of Jesus Christ affords me. I choose not to be offended.

A Good day to set it straight

Something they will not understand. Something they cannot fathom. They mock us and make fun of our faith in God, they try to blow our sins out of epic proportions while hiding their own sins and their evil intentions. They do not understand the meaning of Christian, for if they did their actions would be different.

Good day to address the hidden comments

Addressing the stalker-like comments, my uncle dave or someone using his account left on my traveling post, he(they) didn't even have the honesty to post them to the actual posts he(they) was(were) addressing. My family spoke to Uncle Rick and Aunt Elizabeth about what he had said, showed them the comments, in fact, they know nothing of what he speaks. he nor anyone in his family actually spoke with them and are lying. Since none have spoken to their Mother-in-law, my Grandma in years, how would they know about her financial status of her insurance policy? It would not have mattered how we did funeral services for Grandma, because of the way they have chosen to think and act, he searched to find something wrong with it. Some way to criticize the way it was handled, this is what they have done to drive the wedge between our families. A way for them to placate their anger, hatred, and jealousy towards others. It also, in his mind, vindicates why they chose to abandon their family. As for my traveling, I have been traveling first class for years and going on vacation around the world for years never relying on others. I have been taking my Mum on Mother's day trips for years. In no way was Grandma's money used, but they will never believe us because (typical catfish trick to try and get us to divulge how much or little she actually had). In their minds, they have already judged us and found us guilty of whatever sins they have created in their delusional mind. their jealousy reeks when he falsely claimed we used the money from funeral expenses to travel. As for comments made on LDS.org, NOT US, those were words from Grandma, she was competent and knew who she was up until her last breath so their blame is misplaced. Maybe they should talk to the lady from her ward who helped her in Family Search. But he just loves to assume that it is my family's fault, anything to blame my Mum and family (taking no responsibility for his or his family's part). they have misplaced blame, the posts came from Grandma Lenore. His mental illness, that he has admitted runs in his family, and paranoia show, having to "interfere" shows his admittance to stalking my family, keeping tabs on business, personal finance, etc. he likes to bring up the past about my Father (not one person deny's his wrongdoing. He has paid his price and has with the power of the atonement been able to move on with his life. he is very quick to make judgments and point fingers at everyone else while trying to hide his own past and things he personally has done, (never apologizing for his own behavior) people he personally has cheated and lied to. This is his way unless he decides to change and reconcile and put the past in the past, it will continue to come up. his choice to interfere shows his character, especially when the blame has been misplaced. he has used my family as a scapegoat for years in order to not feel bad about the choices made by him or his children who are his enablers. As to Jetta, She never should have burglarized that woman's home, but since they have diagnosed her with bipolar depression, hopefully, that was something to do with what she did and caused her to feel entitled to steal that woman's stuff, Jessica made a poor decision and was going to have to face the consequences of her choice even if she did have bipolar depression, it did not give her the right to steal from another. Even knowing all that Jetta did, the choices she chose to make, I still love her. I am grateful that she came and knew Grandma Lenore, that she admitted to not being perfect but still willing to apologize and to forgive us as well. Part of her burden I believe it was that she kept the fact that she had the start of a healthy relationship with Grandma, me and my family. From what I have observed over the years, from talking with different cousins over the years, is a family that does have hate in their hearts in the way they treat people and treat each other. The fights between sisters, manipulation tactics to control the kids, the accusations that were told to my family about molestation (either his family member is a liar or the family is lying to cover it up... either way, the manipulation, and lying came from their family). Reconciliation efforts are not harassment, and if they are taken as such, then there is counseling that needs to be done. they want to talk about inflicting hurt and conflict, his family has tried to deny my family of being able to experience grief for the loss of a family member, Scott lied and told us we could come to the graveside. Grandma was lied to about seeing Jessica one last time and gave her false information and denied from holding Jetta's hand one last time to say goodbye. As to Jim, they alienated all 10 cousin's (Uncle Jim's nieces and nephews which would have been the normal and right thing to do in regards to his health if he really was being abused) from seeing him and acting as if his family was the only ones who could "save" him...when it was never just their family's decision to make, they took that from the rest of the Mullins family. The stalking injunction goes both ways cyber too so that he freely admits to searching out my mum and finding what she posts (if it even is her)... shows the level of stalker he is. I am not insinuating Jetta was surrounded by hate, I am describing what she told us..again their hatred is misplaced he should blame his daughter for painting such a morbid picture of life in their "loving" home. So now he degrades himself to calling my family names...that he actually takes the time to leave comments on my blog (again who is the stalker here?)shows his narcissistic ways. they are unable to allow another to tell the other side of the story without trying to control how it is perceived. I put Jessica's information on Family Search because I am part of her Family. I made a promise to her I would in a conversation we had a long time ago, so again their hatred and blame are misplaced. But their family cannot stand that someone else loves her beside them. I do know what spirit I am of but again he has chosen to make judgments against my family that are false, he denies forgiveness, he denies and will not allow any reconciliation attempt and effort. I quote him " It may be as simple as contact=conflict." The conflict is NOT on my family's part, our door has always been open for reconciliation, we have sincerely apologized and made an effort to reach out in peace. But their family has rebuffed us in every manner, including going to family counseling that was advised. they instead went to lawyers, lied and skewed events that happened. I never held down anyone so that another could punch them if that were true, the police would have been called and I would have gone to jail, but it isn't true, it is a falsehood made up by mythomania. Nor were any Hippa laws broken when we found out about Jetta... It is called having friends who care. Funny how they ask my family to stay out of their lives, but yet they cannot stay out of ours...it is not a one-sided deal. his narcissism is again showing, There are many other things besides reading to do on a long flight. Just because he read one book on Borderline Personality Disorders, does not make him my therapist and therefore he should follow his own counsel that he keeps wanting to give my family. As to me being married, I do not have to justify myself to them or anyone else... I have happy and healthy relationships (unlike the relationships their children have) and that is all they need to know.