A Good Day to Create Happiness

I have learned the only way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away. They continue to live in a delusional world surrounded by their enablers. They do not wish to resolve any conflict, their only desire is to keep the conflict alive. They continue to belittle, berate and make fun of those whom they target even after we have walked away. Because they cannot stop us from living our lives, from experiencing joy in the lives we lead. Their feeble attempts to silence my side of the story is very telling. They only want the world to see what they portray. An example of this was when several years ago when things were starting to get worse. My Grandma had lent out pictures to a cousin of mine, sadly these pictures were never returned and my Grandma was treated with contempt and outright rudeness by a cousin in law who screamed: "get out of here." All because my Grandma wanted back pictures that were hers in the first place. My cousin "borrowing" items of my Grandma's claiming items for school projects to never return them. My Grandma never saw those items again, they all were kept in the name of that family's "projects," probably sold. Interestingly enough, my cousin and cousin in law had to get married because he knocked her up when she was in high school, which wouldn't have been so bad, except how rude they have become in criticizing and making fun of others, in some deformed sense of pointing fingers away from themselves. They have lived in welfare housing most their lives, even though my cousin boosts of having a masters degree, these are things they try to point away from themselves. Another occasion when we had moved, my family was in possession of my Grandfather's WWII uniform, when it went into my cousin's vehicle, it was never seen again. There was also the time my Grandma caught a cousin trying to steal her husband's tools, or another cousin tried to steal a Norman Rockwell book, it ended up being the wrong book) that was taken. The kicker is when I was called to be the family history coordinator for in a religious setting and told me to take a course offered at the local institute of religion. I found out that my aunt was teaching this course. I voiced my concerns to my Bishop of the congregation, he told me "God works in mysterious ways." He also said it might start the healing process for our families especially if she and I had common ground in family history work. (Later on my Bishop would apologize for an "unfortunate decision on your aunt's part.") There might be much I could learn from her and her experiences. As I have done many times with many institute courses I have taken over the years, when I went to her class, I brought my recorder with me. I received a cold welcome that first course, glares, etc. The next week a cousin in law and my uncle showed up. They glared at me the entire time. The third week I was pulled out of the course and the smear campaign began. I had done nothing wrong except go into a class that my Bishop had recommended I went into. My aunt decided that she would rather cancel the course instead of start a healing process and let me be in her class. I continued to be the family History coordinator for another year.(My Bishop apologized to me for the "unfortunate decision my aunt made to cancel the course). This does not show a family who is willing to reconcile, but we should have known that when my uncle was acting like his convicted pedophile father, staring at my Grandma's chest in the lawyers office (he told my mum once that he does that because it flusters a woman and is intimidating to her) when my Grandma wanted to know what was happening to her brother-in-law. They falsely accused of keyed cars when we know that my cousin keyed my family's car, they scream harassment when my Grandma sent Birthday Cards and flip us off when we wish them a Happy Christmas when we randomly saw them. My aunt has lied about being beaten and held down when in fact she pushed my mother downstairs. If only my family had known the nefarious things that were in the works. We have been battling harassment and bullying of many types for many years. My family has come to the realization that some family feuds will not be corrected in this life. So we have moved on. Not really saying much about it, then one day I was told that my uncle told others that he would not stop until my family is destroyed, homeless, dead, or in prison. Seems like these people cannot let things go. They will use any manner of bullying possible including police and courts for their nefariousness. Just because one gets some money does not give one class that is the way it is with those toxically sick family. Instead of doing good in the world, they bully, and have taken random encounters turned it into court hearings, exaggerating the truth and telling outright lies. Because people do not believe how far these people go, we were counseled to just let it go and let it pass that was 3 years ago. Towards the end, they entrapped us, and I believe one of them vandalized my vehicle and created a situation that would lead to the next court hearing. They take any random encounter to create a false situation. I was right to leave, I imagine that many abused people are told in a rude manner (or to try and bait them one more time) "bye," or some other sadistic comment to keep the abuse alive. But it is done and over. Now, what people would want to have anything to do with anyone who tells lies about them? No one in my family, but they continue with their lies, What is their end goal? To the world they claim to want to be "left alone" and yet they continue in their snide remarks, in their passive aggressive comments, etc. I continue to pray for their hearts to soften, but it is up to them to make that choice. It is too bad they have expanded all that energy as negative, when they could have done so much good in the world. The delusional state of my uncle and his family is becoming more and more apparent as they contradict the very laws of nature...sunshine can never be dark. The only ones who have shame are them because of the way they plow through decisions, they have this "God" complex where, in their minds, everything they do is the right and only way. They have missed the mark. My family is happily living our life, we have moved on. There are so many good things happening in our lives, we are grateful and blessed (which not doubt my uncle will make some remark about because of jealousy). It has always been up to me to create my own happiness and to not let other people's toxic negativity bring me down (especially that as exemplified above). I will continue on my path, always focused on the positive that which makes me happy. I have forged a healthy path for myself, on that any of those people could ever understand. Sure I might be met with obstacles along the way; but it is always better to stay positive, be true to myself, and to lift/encourage those around me. I will always carry love and kindness where ever I go. I will continue to be a positive force for good for no beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart. I create my own happiness.