A good day to be grateful for good friends

From the last time I have written many things have happened, I created a new blog to help me overcome my grief, disappointment and to let go of things that others have done. Through the last few years some sad/disappointing things and some things so amazing, it is almost impossible to describe with words, have happened. I am so thankful for my Mum, Grandma, Sister, Brother and Sister-in-law, a few extended family and many many friends whom I consider family. In 2016 I lost my cousin (Jessica) Jetta Rose Mickelsen to Suicide. The part that is so unfortunate is that she felt she had nowhere to turn when in fact she did. She was secretly (unbeknownst to her family) seeing my Grandmother, Mum, Sister and I on occasion and let her Children see our Grandma. Her family's hatred and Jealousy of my Grandma and Mum made relations difficult for Jetta...Jetta was in a rock and a hard spot with the belief that she had nowhere to turn. At the Funeral, one would believe that people could be civil but unfortunately, it only lead to Jetta's family creating a scene and ultimately cutting off any hopes of reconciliation and mending family ties. I have never in my life seen such blind anger, jealous hatred and unforgiving people. And in the end, they decided to end their relations with the rest of the family. Last year I went to a Lady Antebellum concert in memory of Jetta. I also lost another cousin though not to death but to her choice to also cut out her family. Shelby went from a beautiful woman to some married girl I don't even know. Unfortunate because of the lies that have been told about my family Her and possibly her sisters and a few other cousins who could see reason have been poisoned to believe that my family would judge them for their choices, when in fact we would be grateful for contact and knowing they are doing ok and kids if they have any are growing up ok I know my Grandma would love to meet some of her great-grandchildren that have unfairly been withheld from her. Our humor and beliefs may not be the same but we still love them, pray for them and hope the best for them. I do not know if Tami, Brittney or Bethany would ever read this blog but it is my hope that one day they Reach out to Grandma Lenore and say hi to her. I am not sure that relations between us could ever be repaired and I would be a bit nervous due to the nature of destruction certain family members wish of mine. But God is good and makes up for the sadness and disappointments we feel and in my case am surrounded by many good friends. They have rallied around my family, have offered support and have helped us not just trudge forward, but go forward in faith and find joy in our trials. To live life to the fullest and to know that in the end, love always wins.

A Good Day to Let Go

This blog is about my side, my perspective of the events that have transpired. And if they get offended this is what Confucius has to say on the subject, "He who takes offense when none is intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense is intended is a bigger fool.” This is where I can tell things like they are, bring truth to the lies and falsehoods that have been spread about by toxic family members who have mental illness running deep through their family. They have tried to bait and bash, they have made fun of others, they have mocked, they have tried to play the "mirror" game and have even tried to claim the good things my family has done as their own lives. They have ignored and scoffed at any reconciliation attempts, their mistake. This blog is an outlet for me, it really has nothing to do with them other than to shed light on the truth, though they will claim otherwise as is their nature. They have not talked with the rest of the family for years, they have created delusional worlds and have lied so many times to themselves that they now believe those lies to be truth. They try to through all kinds of crap against the wall hoping that anything will stick. They have twisted truth because they are sick and have major problems coursing through their family. They have made fun of, ridiculed and tried to dehumanize anyone who does not see the world as they do. They act like self-righteous pompous do-gooders on one hand and on the other, they try to terrorize those who really are trying to live good lives. Contention follows them like the plague but yet they claim to have no faults. They take no responsibility for their actions and want everyone else to suffer the consequences. But in their quest to destroy my family, THEY HAVE FAILED. We are stronger in our belief in a God who believes in bot Mercy and Justice and we are stronger in our love for each other as a family, understanding how important it is to have a gospel-centered home that emphasizes love and conflict resolution. They have also LOST because they have become the lost family when they chose to shun the rest of the family. They will continue to be the losers until they take responsibility and apologize for the things they have done. That is when this conflict will be over. Just because there is conflict in the world created by them, does not mean that there can't be peace in my family's home created by us and that is the case. It comes down to this: God knows the Truth of the Matter. God knows your heart and your intent; God knows what choices you made and continue to make; God knows the words you have written and the words you have said; God knows what you did and continue to do. And that is all there is to it. Watching as toxic family members hide behind their lies, portraying one face to the world while showing their verbally and emotionally abusive face to those they target, has been frustrating, to say the least. I know my toxic family members look at this blog, judge it, make snide remarks, probably make fun and other things that add to their toxic sickness and try to lie about what happened in the past, they cannot stand to not be in control of others, they have to "hit," squash and trample any ounce of good that they can as if to try and bring others down to their miserable lives. The trash they talk is a way for them to hide behind their lies. They claim to not talk to us because we are the "toxic" ones, but in reality, it is they who broke off contact with no explanation at the time, they wanted to control how others perceived their misdeeds and so they started spewing trash out of their mouths. The problem with that is they are not in control, they cannot "squelch" out light or take away someone's happiness and memories, they do not have that kind of power. They try, they try to build themselves up but that is the thing, they are like the Pharisees of old, on the outside they pride themselves on their strict observance of the law, and on the care with which they avoided contact with things that would build mercy. They point fingers. They cast verbal and emotional stones at members of their family and any with whom they believe to have "sinned." They gossip behind backs while ignoring their own shortcomings This life is short, and the choices we make affect much more than just while we are here, we are setting up our life for eternity. The things they crafted and the plans they made many years ago, laid seeds of doubt in relationships all the while "acting" as if they supported their family giving "false" advice. The truth did come out later, as it always does. I will never forget years later my StepDad recounted how he had been called by a male cousin in law and was given sensitive information. My Mum had gone to her family in sacred trust and these people because of their jealousy (we didn't know it at the time) did everything they could do help in destroying a relationship. Little did my family know those days in 2007-2008 were the beginning of the end when trust was shattered when lies started floating around when "crude" jokes turned nasty...when they betrayed their family and started out to deceive the world into believing they had done nothing wrong. This blog is about getting out what happened in the past and letting it go.